Getting Exactly What You Ask For

How many times have you uttered the words... "Lord, please give me patience"  what exactly are you expecting when you say it? I know what I wanted when I made the fatal mistake of saying those words. I wanted to be relieved of the aggravation I was feeling, I expected to be sent by way of divine intervention a peace and sense of calm. Isn't that what we are asking for when we pray for patience? We all want to be able to calmly deal with the situation at hand, not be the screaming, red faced lunatic that we are seconds from becoming as we utter those 5 words?

So those were the expectations.. what did I get when I prayed those fatal words? I got exactly what I asked for.. just not at that precise moment. What the Lord gave me were many situations that taught me how to be patient, how to humble myself into patience for situations minor and major. When I start to feel a little bit of that person I was a few years ago creeping back in and those words come into my mind I stop and remind myself of all those difficult instances I have endured in order teach me patience and I think "this really isn't so bad, I can wait" then I use that waiting time to pray, to thank the Lord for something, some small something in my life.

Which brings me to the next big thing here.. Life is full of lessons.. I am constantly learning them. God isn't like a Genie in the bottle, we can't just rub the bible, clap our hands together say a prayer and expect something to happen. I would be lying, as would most of us if I didn't say there weren't times in my life that I expected instant responses. Sometimes still that monster known as impatience rears her ugly head. 

 I have a daily prayer I say every morning, I pray for peace in my heart to follow Gods will in my life with out protest or fear. A few days ago I sat in a parking lot thinking about an elderly man, praying for those I love in my life and wondering about the future for all of us. It is hard to not have protest and fear when you have no idea which doors are opening and which doors are closing. When I first wrote this entry 2 years ago life was very different, we were starting on the path that led us here. We were certainly at a crossroad.  We are again in a time of great change, this time we are in a safe place surrounded by love and peace. Changes are different and are acceptable. They are stressful and frighting, but not in the same way as they were before we moved. Today I pray asking the Lord to open the right doors and close the wrong doors. I ask to keep the wrong people out of my life and the right ones close by and the wisdom to know the difference. I am facing several major life decisions right now once again. 

Decisions and Doors..

James 1:2-5 tells you to consider your trials all joy, that the testing produces endurance- and that we

should let the endurance have its perfect result. So we will be complete and lacking in nothing. If you need wisdom, pray and God will give you wisdom.. So here I am, opening a pandoras box. Asking for doors to be opened and closed. Knowing in my heart walking through those open doors there will be trials; trials that will truly test my faith. How do you discern an open door with testing from a closed door? If this was Hollywood a voice would boom down and tell you "HEY YOU- keep going"  or "Yo, Dummy, back off." Since this is reality we don't get any cool special effects like that. We get the pain of making bad choices and the joy of success with the right ones.