The Power of Words

 

Words have the power to hurt and the power to heal. 

                                                 A single word can empower or destroy.

When talking, or writing how carefully do you think about the words you use in every day conversation? How much thought goes into the impact a single word may have upon another person.

In the last few weeks words have caused me a few headaches and heartaches.

I have a neighbor. Lets call him Romeo. Romeo and I have a deal. I will help him with English if he helps me with Spanish. This past Sunday at the pool we were doing what we normally do, laying in the sun and talking about nothing and everything in both Spanish and English. Romeo asks about the word wonder How can you explain wonder to someone? Wonder can be a noun or a verb and as either it has multiple meanings. Explain it to someone with limited ability in english while you have limited ability in their language. It was a very long circular conversation that involved the phrase "like wonderful without -ful?" posed as a question, quite a bit. As much as I want to say that learning Spanish has been hard, it was in that moment that I realized just how frustrating the English language is with all the words and rules and multiple meanings a single word may have.

Words and their meanings..

Its no wonder that people get angry with each other over text messages and emails. A single missed period, or comma, or horrible auto correct by your phone or computer can be a disaster. The worst of all- human interpretation of anothers meaning behind a single written line can spell disaster.

For example- just what does this statement mean? 

"I didn't say you stole the book"

who knows right? Unless you and I are talking to one another.
That phrase could mean many things, it might mean someone else implied you stole the book, or that I didn't verbally implicate you in the theft of a book. Or simply that you sole something, but not a book. The words we chose and the way we chose to say them can make or break a situation. While this is a small example I am certain each of us could think of moments in our own lives when this situation has occurred.  We need to think about it a moment, ask for clarification and stop being so quick to react.

A few years ago I was involved in a situation that really began to bother me. I admit that I possibly chose the wrong words in the given situation and as a result four years later I am still paying the price.

When you are interacting with people online my advice to each and everyone of you is to keep several things in mind. These are very important things regarding the words you read about the lives people lead. One of those is that you do not know who people are and their level of mental stability. Online each of us is represented by nothing more than our own written word. I could write and tell each of you anything about me and it may or may not be true. I could create an entire mythical life dragging your hearts into it with my words and even pictures illustrating it, because as we all know a photograph is nothing more than a snapshot of any single moment in time.

Put a caption to this yourself:

Its hard to say at this point in time what was really going on. I know at the time I probably assumed she was having a seizure, but I think she was actually watching TV that was mounted to the wall. The picture below is certainly a seizure-

If you compare the two pictures you can tell which one is a seizure and which is not. The point is a picture presented to an unsuspecting audience crafted with the right words can give a nice slice of "lie pie" and sadly people eat it.  (oh, wait- I am actually pretty sure they are both seizures, hmm- see how confusing the captions (words) on a photo can be?) Unfortunately there are people that do this intentionally; like I just did to prove a point. That is just another illustration of the power of words. People use words to heal hurts they have in their own lives while hurting others in their path.

In the years I have been "in the club" of special needs parents I have watched entire support communities destroyed because of this type of behavior. There was once a very caring and active support community that I was involved in. I believe Heather Riley was about 3 years old when I joined "Brain Talk". A group within that community fell apart due to a a couple of people that came in and used language to trap many of us into believe things that simply were not true about their families and children. Many people invested their hearts into these individuals. You feel emotionally raped when you discover a person has been lying, after the discovery an online group is left with a sort of emotional herpes.Individually a cynicism develops that never goes away for a lot of  people. After several months many of the members just stopped posting, and most people left, we were able to find one another on Facebook eventually.

I spent many years supporting parents and caregivers guiding them through their journey. Assisting with services and just being a listening ear. One thing I discovered on my journey was how lonely it is.  No one desired to hear the words I needed to use to describe my feelings. I can empathize with people on this path no one chooses. I have always had a natural ability to listen and understand. So I did.

Until recently.

Over the years I have had a few runs ins with people that you could describe as having a broken moral compass. Because of a single person I met four years ago, the worst judge of character I ever made I have decided to no longer openly give my phone number to strangers, or respond to emails and facebook messages, or letters, or even talk to people that approach me in public.

Words can destroy and should always be used with caution.

I used a lot of words every day. I talk, I write, I read, I love language and communication. I am highly interested in how people interact with each other. I understand the power of words I have stood on stage in front of hundreds of people and heard their applause. I have felt the power words have in those moments.

  I chose to use words with honesty and integrity, people know when you are face to face with them and you are being genuine. You can't always hide behind a screen. Words are powerful, but so is the reality hidden behind words you speak.